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Wednesday, 30 January 2008

I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

Wednesday, 27 December 2006

It's like drinking from a firehose

Wow. So it really has been a LONG time since I've written anything on here. I'm getting ready to go to Urbana just like 24,000 other people are! I went my freshman year, so it'll be interesting to see how I've changed or what God may want to speak to me now that I'm a senior. I'll be quite honest though, I'm not really looking forward to being around SOOO many people. I'll definitely have to find quiet places of retreat if this is going to work out. I thought about just staying in the apartment, instead of in a hotel downtown, but I've already signed up for a hotel, so it would probably be more complicated to back out now. So yeah, I'm trying to prepare myself as best I can to "drink from the firehose" that is Urbana. Lord, have mercy...

Thursday, 14 September 2006

Currently Listening
Nothing Without You
By Smokie Norful
I Understand
see related
I Understand

Sometimes I feel like giving up
Seems like my best just ain't good enough
Lord if you hear me I'm calling you
Do you see do you care all about what I'm going through

One more day, one more step
I'm preparing you for myself
When you can't hear my voice, please trust my plan
I'm the Lord I see, and yes I understand

Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone, just like a stranger so far from home
I feel like I 've done all that I can do
Please Lord give me strength, I'm just trying to make it through

He knows how much we can bear
In the time of trouble He promised He'd always be there
I understand, I understand, I am the Lord I see and yes I understand
I am the Lord and I changeth not
I won't forget nor have I forgot
Everything works according to my plan
I am God, trust me, I got the whole world in my hands...

Sunday, 03 September 2006

Stalker

Sooooo,
It's definitely been a good lil' minute since I've written anything, but I actually have something to talk about now. This random dude has called me everyday since Wed. Aug. 30th. He always calls between 1 and 5am, and everything he says is EXTRA sexually explicit. He goes into detail about what he wants to do to me, what he wants me to do to him, etc and so forth. The number comes up restricted, so there's really no way of tracking who it is. The thing that concerned me the most tho', was that he knows my name. The first time he called I asked him his name and how he got my information. He said his name was "Big Dick", and that I gave him my name and number 2 weeks ago at a party. For anybody who knows me, yall know good and well that that ain't true. I asked him what his name was again, and he said "Dejuan Brown".
So yeah, the first day he called 20 times. And I'm not talking 20 times in the course of 24 hours. I'm talking 20 times in the course of a couple hours. When I don't pick up, he just keeps calling. When he called day before yesterday, I asked him what his name was again, and how he got my number, and this time he said that his name was "Terrance" and that I gave him my number 2 weeks ago at the gas station on Grand. Again, clearly a lie. I notified campus police, and they refered me to the city police because of where my apartment is. I called city police, and they said that they won't even take a report unless the guy is threatening my life. Thank you, I feel protected. I told Mrs. Stephenson what was going on, and she called campus police again, and got them to follow up with me, so since then they've been really helpful in making sure that things are ok and that I feel safe and whatnot, so I appreciate that.
The last time the guy called I straight up told him that I've called the police and I want him to stop calling, and he was like, "oh, you want me to stop calling?"....I'm thinking, what part of me ignoring your 50+ phone calls over the past few days indicates that I would potentially want you to continue calling!?! Then he was like, "what are you doing?"...Mind you, this is at 3am, so I said, "umm....i was TRYING to SLEEP!"...Then he said, "oh, so you want me to call you back later?"....ummmm...are you serious? CLEARLY I don't want you to call at all. He finally said that he would stop calling, but TWO count them TWO minutes later, he called back and was like, "baby, i missed you".
I don't like to turn my phone off at night b/c I do like being available to my friends in case of emergency, but it's definitely coming down to that point where I just can't keep the ringer on and get a decent night's rest. If he doesn't stop calling, my only option is to change my cell phone number, which I really don't want to do because I've had the same number since 8th grade. But we'll see...
So yeah....that's what's been going on the past few days. Can't promise that I'll keep this thing updated regularly, but I'll try.

Friday, 07 July 2006

As much as I wanted to make sure that Ms. Jen (the director of the summer program) had time to be with her family and mourn for their loss, I can't tell you all how happy I am that she's back. It may be a selfish emotion, but it takes soooo much pressure off of me knowing that she's on site. I really do thank God for her and the ways that she has taught me about servant leadership tho'...

I wanted to wait 'til my friend Drea got here from Arizona to go see Confederate States of America, but I called the Tivoli this afternoon and it said that today was the last day for it, so I ended up going with Rach and L-boogie tonight. It was definitely eye opening. Think about it, what if the South really had won the Civil War? I think what struck me most was some of the ways that images from slavery are still used now. I didn't realize that white people called their male slaves "Uncle"...I mean, yeah "Uncle Tom's Cabin", but I didn't really think much of it past that. How many of us are still eating "Uncle Ben's" rice!? Things have changed in America, but slavery has definitely left it's mark on this country and it's people. It is so engrained that we don't even think twice sometimes about certain things...

Rach hurt her knee tonight playing basketball. She should prolly go get it looked at tonight, but she's being stubborn. I'm going to make her go somewhere first thing in the morning though.

I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed about ministry stuff for next year. Maybe overwhelmed isn't the right word. It's more of a feeling of inadequacy. I know that apart from Christ all of my efforts are in vain anyway, so it's just a matter of me staying focused on Him, and realizing that Harambee is HIS ministry, not mine...I really desire for people to grow in their relationship with the Lord, and I want Harambee to be a place that helps facilitate that growth. I want people to truly feel welcomed and loved no matter what stage of faith they're in. I desire for Harambee to be more than just Visions Gospel Choir or another "extra-curricular activity"....I want people's lives to be changed, not by anything that I have done in and of myself, but because of the realness of God being present in our ministry. I want a lot, but I serve a big God, and I'm just crazy enough to believe that He's able to do "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think..." (Eph. 3:20)